In Stephen Harper's world: even suicide is no way out

The Harper government has quietly nixed recommendations to expand and modernize Canada's access-to-information and privacy laws.

Our national politics getting you down? Is our federal government not living up to your expectations, here, here, and here? Are you not getting the information you need? Are ya feeling like it's all a sham? Are ya feeling pressured? Are things turning to shit? Is your ally your enemy? Do you see no way out? Desperation and despair setting in? Need to find a solution to your woes? Hmm, ... maybe this will cheer you up?

Did that help? D'ya feel better? No? Well have you been to your local library lately? Maybe they can help get you the information you need? Oopsie... apparently some of them can't!

"The Vancouver Public Library has told an Australian group that it can't use the library's public meeting rooms to hold a suicide workshop for the terminally ill.

'What we do at these gatherings is to, first of all, explain to people why we think it's a good idea to know how to kill yourself peacefully and reliably,' said Nitschke ... 'We provide people with the information they would need to be able to take that course, knowing it will succeed, that it won't fail, that they won't end up in a worse situation than the one they're currently in'."

[AGAIN- for emphasis] ... 'We provide people with the information they would need ... [so] that they won't end up in a worse situation than the one they're currently in.'

YEAH, WE SHOULD ALL BE SO LUCKY!

Iggy Goes West: The 'Promise of Eden'?

140 years ago, the Canadian west was seen by many as holding the 'Promise of Eden'. A fertile land of unending possibilities; many believed it the key to the nascent Canadian state's future economic prosperity. In time, following the creation of the provinces of Alberta and Saskatchewan in 1905, it even came to be seen, by some, as having the votes needed to abet federal electoral success.

Michael Ignatieff appears to understand this. 'Winning the west' can make all the difference. Electoral success in the west (dependent on one's relative strength in the east) can be the decisive difference between the preservation of a slim minority or the key to a majority. Ignatieff gets this. And really, isn't it about time somebody from the Liberal party did!

So, is Iggy really out to 'win' the west with his wooing?

No. But he does seem to realize it is important to mount a viable challenge to Harpo in his own backyard. Iggy seems to 'get' that the Liberals must ensure the Tory's no longer take western Canada for granted. But with only two Liberal MPs in the three Prairie provinces (none in Alberta) is this really a possibility? In a word (or two): yes & maybe. Fact is, present circumstances may actually bode well for a resurgence of the LPC in the west.

Harpo has broken trust with his base. His R.B. Bennett-esque death-bed conversion to neo-Keynsianism has them wondering what, if anything, the man really stands for. With Harpo now a free-spending, doubletalking scavenger for political advantage, he has hurt his image in western Canada immeasurably. Elements both within the Tory party's old-guard reform sect and the Red Tory progressive wing are disillusioned. In fact, it may be not all that insane to believe that Michael Ignatieff's Liberal's actually now have a 'once in a generation chance' to start to redraw the federal electoral map in western Canada?

Does this mean a massive increase in Liberal seats is coming? No. In 2009, it is all about baby steps. A seat here, a seat there - that is all Iggy must do this time around. Who knows? Maybe thanks to Manic Jack's odd machinations these past months - some hitherto strong urban NDP enclaves (Winnipeg, etc.,) might even be in play next time around. Also there are probably some other Tory ridings - such as one in western Manitoba (Brandon?), one or two in Saskatchewan and, maybe, even one in Edmonton ripe for a Liberal conversion.

To achieve this Iggy must understand three things. The west is not a monolith; each Prairie province has its own identity. Our fundamental belief in Ottawa's ability to vouchsafe our future has been damaged by every PM, regardless of political stripe, since the 1970s. And our provincial electoral patterns in no way reflect a province's national party affiliation. Well, ... err... save perhaps Alberta where the inbred and indoctrinated electorate seem to be politically brainwashed, brain dead and, ... did I already say inbred? Having never cast a meaningful provincial ballot for change in almost 40 years it could be argued Albertans 'know not what they do'! (Course, on this count, it is entirely possible I may be nothing but a simple-minded Fat Arse who knows not of what he speaks?) But I digress...

With Iggy going on the record about his belief that his party's past positions on western issues was both wrongheaded and arrogant - it might be said that he has made a good start in his effort to 'reach out'. His admission in Saskatchewan last week that western Canada's largely negative reaction to the possibility of a Lib-NDP coalition caused him to walk away from the idea was what many wanted to hear. (Fact that he really nixed the idea because of his own internal revulsion of going through a Hillbilly shotgun wedding only to find himself in bed with an unstable mustachioed 'house-mate' is, of course, besides the point.) Bottom line, Iggy said what he had to.

But all this is just a start. For Iggy there is only political advantage to be had if he proves himself serious about his commitment to the west. In the coming months he will have to demonstrate on the floor of the house that western concerns (our concerns?) - are his concerns. And while insular western Tory's are dismissing Iggy's chances in their own backyard - they should not be so quick to chalk all his talk up to empty Liberal bluster. Iggy's repudiation of his party's historically flawed energy policies (NEP) cannot be dismissed. In light of such openness, western Tory's should take some time to reflect on the current lay of their land. Maybe Ignatieff's goal to bring about a Liberal resurgence on the Prairies is not be so far fetched after all. Improbable? Yes. Impossible? No. Fact is, it has been more than fifty years since the confluence of constellations bode so well for Liberal party in Western Canada.

Do I wish him luck? Sure. Am I holding my breath? No. True, the Iggy PR campaign in the west has, so far, hit all the right notes. But, if he really expects to make gains in the west he must continue to play a tune that is true. And on that count I will be listening ... bracing for false notes.

Ironically, at least to my mind, Rex Murphy might have actually been correct for once this past weekend when he said Iggy's western speeches "in their tone and substance, signal he does not intend to simply accept what has been one of the iron laws of Canadian politics for a generation or more: that the Liberal Party hasn't a hope in hell of winning any real support out West." Again, I guess only time will tell. Who knows? Iggy may indeed be the 'patriot' who "understands the destiny of Canada in a way others ... [do] not"?

One thing's for friggin' sure, we won't be seeing Manic Jack on a similar pilgrimage anytime soon ... his NDP PR wagon is broke and ... he's burned all his bridges!

"Friggin' Flaherty and his Fiscal Apocalypse": Daddy tell us a Horror Story pt.1

[as originally posted 01/30/09 on my formerly free thinking blog http://tworippingarseholes.blogspot.com ]

Year: 2016
Date: January 26th
Place: Winnipeg, Canada

Event: Federal Budget Day

Nearing dusk, wind-a-blowing. Crows swirl above. In the distance, along the frozen river, a group of TB enforcers (Tory-Bankers) are putting the boots to a Black Rod vainly trying to raise a tattered Canadian Flag with New-Afghanistan sprayed on it. He is, well, err... truly being boot-fucked. Unseen, the new media is filming the beat down as a destitute man with a notebook next to them licks yellow snow. Other passers-by are simply uninterested. Preferring instead to gawk at the street full of Harpo-Buggies. Horseshit is everywhere.

Two dirty wide-eyed emaciated innocents, a boy and girl, are shivering. Lightly clad, they are gripping their Daddy's hands tight. Together the three step off the northeastern side of the bridge and onto the icy and littered sidewalks. Across the street Great West Life's headquarters lie empty.

"Daddy, why they beatin' that man?" the blue-eyed boy asks.

"They call it 'knocking sense' son. Part of their three-pronged anti-critique reduction strategy: Knock-Kick-Kill. That's just a second warning. Probably the guy was asking too many questions."

"Daddy, what happens if he doesn't listen?" the boy asks.

"That!" the dad says pointing to the west, to a cross with a man nailed to it far down on the river ice. Above it, a huge placard with blood red letters proclaims:

"This is Power to Truth!"

'Poor guy,' the Dad thinks, 'his public eye now nuthin' but crow food.' Immediately, the father realizes the mistake. 'Too young for KKK' he chides himself, ... 'too young.' "Quickly," he says to his shocked children, "Quickly, now. We have to get there by eight."

As they walk they pass a man who's seen better days. Standing perfectly straight, he's mumbling over and over "Anybody want a Peanut? Anybody want a Peanut?" His hand is extended; it wants to complete the offer. Sadly, he has no peanuts? They've been taken away.

Across the street another indigent with an 'I Luv Bjork' sweater keeps bellowing at a dog that won't stop sniffing his ass: "This is Just Damn Stupid! Just Damn Stupid!" he's shouting, "That's it!" he exclaims, "I'm moving to Iceland!"

Looking on is a Conceited Jerk who can only grin as he holds his beloved Nadia. Mute for years now - he's but one of many. Once, back in 2009, all these men were able to offer digital peanuts. But since the Tory ban on public expression and private computers the only platforms now left are the cold, hard streets.

"Daddy are they the ones they tell us about in TB indoctrination classes?" they ask.

"Shhh." he hushes. Then whispering as he bends to their ears, he says "Yes, they're the ones. They've been caught. Censored. Remember, try not to draw attention."

Then, as he always does when here, the Dad glances at the tattered structure nearby. The man's eyes furtively dart upwards to its Dome. The Golden Boy is gone - Forever - long ago sold for a song to fund Doer's failed "Spirited Energy II" comeback campaign just before the streets started going dark at 8pm. Then a crazed-eyed manic man passes on a wobbly bicycle screaming: "Dual Flush Toilets! Dual Flush Toilets! Use them and they will turn our water back on! Use them now!"

"Daddy, is that true? If we use them will we have water for more than 2 hours a day?" the daughter asks.

"No child, first cities privatized their treatment plants. Then the Tories sold our national water rights away to NEW-USA in 2012 to 'fix' the structural deficit. Sorry honey, but we'll never get our rights back."

Just then they pass a bespectacled man with NO IKEA tattooed to his forehead. He's with a group of TRUWinnipegers and one Frog. Indignant all, they are shouting at a burning effigy. "Donkey Trams! Donkey Trams! Pol Pot Katz - what kind of Progressive LRT is this?"

"Daddy, can they do that?" they ask pointing to the solid pile of horseshit and ad hominems that form the effigy labeled 'Mayor.'

"Well they can - until the blackshirts come." he replies as they turn the corner where they pass a downtrodden dude singing the city anthem.

Proceeding east, they look to the right. The steps of the Legislature are, as usual, lightly populated with haggard protesters. Also, as usual, the protesters are outnumbered by the TB crowd controllers. Bemused, the security forces are laughing at the forlorn assemblage. The Legislature's doors are chained shut. "Prorogued" they call it. One indignant Hacking Wonk can be heard screaming: "This is not the way it was supposed to be! I was lied to." Just then, a balding wee-Hughie looks down from a window above. Laughing maniacally, he screams back: "You think you've got it bad - I'm actually in charge of this NUTHOUSE now!"

Crossing the main buggy entrance they see a shovel ready ranting man moving horse crap - all the while exclaiming to no one in particular: "My soul for a forum; my soul for a forum!"

Nearby a former idea planter is listening to an underground radio station on an old transistor radio. One can hear the voices. It's a show about Harpo's new law allowing his acolytes to shot unrepentant Lib's & Dippers on sight. The debate includes that crazed self-professed elder statesman and a partisan post-punker who actually claims to know what jailed Iggy is really thinking! Further on, a man full of love and hate is taking a picture of a pot-smoking one-eyed pecker pissing on a newly erected statue of Friggin' Dim Jim Flaherty. (The ninth such 'national' statue erected since his appointment as the State's Minister of Truth.)

At the next corner, a displaced poetess waiting for the moon is waxing about an 'Unravelling' that came too soon.

"Daddy, her words are beautiful, is she new?" the daughter asks.

"Yeah, I guess. You see after all the Territories flooded from the Arctic ice-melt in 13', these people had to find new homes," he says. Then, seeing some blackshirts approaching, he says gently, but firmly, "Hurry up kids, hurry up... we'll be late."

[To be continued....]

5 comments:

The Public Eye said...

I have always found this blog a great read, but with this post, you have crossed the Rubicon in terms of transcendent originality. Ripping fantastic!

January 30, 2009 4:50 PM

RachelW said...

Ha! You guys are crazy! Love it!

January 30, 2009 6:27 PM

cherenkov said...

Maybe what we need is some good post-apocalyptic chaos to separate the strong from the week and get human evolution back on track!

January 30, 2009 9:33 PM

Prairie Topiary said...

Nice. I've always thought of doing a blog post that would stand as a trail guide to the Manitoba blog scene. You've done me one better!

February 3, 2009 1:01 AM

Conceited Jerk said...

Jesus!

And I thought my outlook was bleak...

Can't wait for part II!

February 3, 2009 10:12 AM