Friday, December 18, 2009

Dr. DILDO (aka MP Carolyn Bennett) is crazy!


















Whew! Wow! Talk about overdue. And to think I thought it would never happen! Boy was I wrong.

In case you haven't heard yet, Canada now has a fearless spokesperson (an esteemed Member of Parliament no less) who is willing to take up the cause of ridding all our sexually un-satiated orifices from the scourge of chemically toxic DILDO's!

Yep, you read that right. Toronto's very own crazier-than-a-bedbug MP, Carolyn Bennett, has formally written to the Minister of Health Leona Aglukkaq asking her to investigate the “urgent need for responsible regulation in the adult toy industry in Canada.” (Oy vey!)

Hark, she writes, the very same chemicals that are not allowed "in children's mouth toys" [the controversial chemical bisphenol A and other phthalates] are still being allowed to penetrate our marketplace via our sex toys!

"... there's no rules preventing their use in a vibrator, Dr. Bennett says."

Now, I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want female Canadians throughout this fair and horny land frigging themselves to death with mass produced toxic Dildo's! No, I want what Dr. Carolyn Bennett is promising. I want to live in a country that .... err, ... err, ... oh criminy, I can't even finish this post properly.

Jesus! I mean, really, Jesus!

With all that is going on both domestically and internationally did we really need a Member of Parliament to take up the cause of synthetic members of all shapes, sizes, and colours in this manner. Was there not a better way to do this?

Could she have not just propose that the existing regulations be amended to include any personal use product that comes into contact with human skin? I mean really! Sometimes you just gotta draw the line somewhere; and I draw it here. This MP, this doctor, this insane nutbar, has done no favours to either her party, her cause, or dildo's in general. A weak and limp attention-getting ploy of the first and saddest order, her actions simply detract from what really matters. All Carolyn Bennett has managed to do here is prove that Canada's Parliament is, too often, a haven for dildo's of all political stripes. She should retire.

9 comments:

  1. I feel deflated that the focus was not on all products that could be used in the consumer market.

    There may be an uprising if Liberal MPs can't stop being the subject of mirth.

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  2. John,

    Fully agree. If she saw fit to tackle this issue fine, but to do with 'sex toys' as the focus? Ridiculous.

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  3. You feel "deflated"? You mean, like, drooping? Shrinking? Diminishing? Sagging?

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  4. If you read other articles, you can find that these items can be sold as 'novelty' items, and as such, aren't subject to other laws governing "any product that comes into contact with human skin." Because they are completely ungoverned and not discussed in the media, the unassuming public is unaware to risks and susceptible to abuse.
    Why can't she deal with sex toys in particular? Do you have something against them? Don't want to blush?

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  5. @ Anon,

    Blush? Hardly. I have nothing against any adult utilizing safe items and/or mood enhancers and music to "get off". With the exception of child porn, I could care less what shape, form, or content an adult uses to turn their crank in the privacy of their own home. Currently, as a square male (and when our kids are not around) my preference is Chinese food supplemented with a drag of herb, complimented by John Martyn's "Solid Air" playing in the background. But hey, that's just me - I'm a nerd! 'Suum cuique' is fine with me.

    All I was trying to say, is that if Bennett truly wanted to address this chemical threat of these products, there was a better way of going about it. Novelty didldo's a threat? Fine - reclassify ALL sex-toys and ALL other bisphenal A and phthalate containing novelty items so they ALL fall under Health Canada regs. To make sex-toys the focus of this crusade is just folly - or, dare I say, faking it!

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  6. I, for one, am happy that she's willing to penetrate deeper into this issue and appears willing to bang some heads to get satisfaction. Now that she has the ball gently - ever so gent-leee rolling, I expect that the matter so proudly raised may come to a climax some time in the new year.

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  7. @ Monsieur Christian,

    Good One! Still laughing as I type.

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  8. I assume it's meant to be a humour column, but it reads mainly as mean-spirited and overly touchy on a pretty basic subject. Glad to see the story getting some play, though.

    It is true that you get what you pay for with toys - we recommend the Canadian-made WeVibe (silicone with rechargeable battery).

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  9. @antoniasrego,

    Huh? Translation please.

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