Showing posts with label Arse-o-theWeek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Arse-o-theWeek. Show all posts

Thursday, February 12, 2009

ARSE-O-theWeek: His Holiness


[as originally posted 12/26/08 on my formerly free thinking blog http://tworippingarseholes.blogspot.com/ ]

So what has
"God's rottweiler", Pope Benedict XVI, done to win this Arse-O-theWeek award?

Well, not much really - if you disregard his pre-Christmas calculated affronts to the dignity of homosexual persons stemming from his assertion that humankind needs "saving" from homosexuality, the way the rainforests need saving from being raped and pillaged. Aside from that, not much.

Of course, attacking God's gay flock is de rigueur for this Pontiff. After all, he's already on the record saying homosexuality is a "gateway" practice that leads to "intrinsic moral evil". So really, nothing new here. But to engage in this kinda crap three days before Christmas? Jesus, that was poor form - even for a Christian.

Couldn't Benny have just embraced the spirit of the season and left it at that? Did he have to spew his antiquated views on the morality of adult sexual behaviour? I mean, if somebody like Smart Arse wants to have a long term relationship with his 'Blow-up Betty' doll what is it to me? Well, apparently such behaviour bothers the 'Presider' who oversees easily the most draconian and hateful anti-gay policy of any church. And it should surprise nobody that he chose to vent this Christmas even though his own complicity in covering up the abuse of children makes these particular attacks on the dignity of homosexuals all the more repulsive.

Now his defenders will say we are wrong, that he has amor omnibus idem. Maybe so. But professing one's 'love for all' does not excuse a fanatical preoccupation with demonizing fags. [n.b. Smart Arse believes we shouldn't say 'fags'. I, Fat Arse, don't believe it's an issue, but admit I've been wrong before!]

What's important here is how the Pope's "end-of-year speech" used dogma to damn the 'other'. By saying gender theory blurred the distinction between male and female, Benedict willfully wandered into marginal social theory territory to cloak his bigotry. Calling for "an ecology of the human being" to protect mankind "from self-destruction" was mere obfuscation of his main point: that fags need not apply for acceptance into the Pope's mythical Kingdom of Heaven. Nice.

Some find it appalling that Pope Benedict XVl can somehow equate his dislike for homosexuality with the ecological crisis that threatens the planet. And, they say, if only he knew a little science, he would realize we are born with our sexual orientation. But what are we to expect from a cloistered old man. He is a staunch defender of conservative theology who has an abiding hatred for progressive movements dating back to the 1950s. He believes Vatican II went too far. He campaigns against liberation theology because it is too close to Marxism, and (as if there is any difference between the two!) he cannot stand the possibility of religion being subordinated to political ideology.

An unfettered 'retrenchment artist', building bridges is not this mortal man's strong-suit. In 2000, he wrote that other Christian denominations were not true churches, because, unlike the Catholic Church, they are unable to offer the “means of salvation.” In July 2007, he tried to reassert the primacy of the Roman Catholic Church when he approved a Vatican release saying Orthodox Churches were "defective" because they do not recognize his Holiness's primacy(?).

Not content to limit his indictments to only the 'faux' Christian organizations, in 2006, Peppy Benny enflamed Muslims in speech in which he quoted a Byzantine emperor as calling Islam "evil and inhuman." Of course, just like a habitual wife-abuser, he later apologized, claiming he was misunderstood and he dutifully promised never to do it again. But most egregious of all was his recent opposition to a proposed UN declaration, backed by all 27 European Union states, calling for an end to the practice of criminalizing and punishing people for their sexual orientation. Again, nice!

A frigid warrior, relentless in his persecution of the Gay Community, Pope Benedict, has said he may relax the Church's ban on condoms to allow their use by people infected with HIV. Wow. Mighty big of him. Too bad the church continues to condemn the use of condoms by people before they get get HIV!

As some Catholic publications defend his assertion that the human race is... imperiled by gay and lesbian families, and some say the hubbub is little more than the "usual" anti-Benedict brigade ... spewing out their vile hatred for this wonderful Pope that God has blessed us with - We, with respects, beg to differ.

And while any arsehole can decry the obvious - the Pope's subsequent Christmas message of "hope" (his "Urbi et Orbi") seems shallow when juxtaposed against his message from 72 hours earlier. Indeed, it is sad to think that with everything going on in the world today that what keeps the pope awake at night is the idea that human beings might be able to seek out their own sexual identity to have a happy life. And for that, we have decided that this petty-Pope is deserving of our Arse-O-theWeek award.

God-bless and Happy New Year!

Arse-o-the Week

[as originally posted 12/19/08 on my formerly free thinking blog http://tworippingarseholes.blogspot.com/ ]

And the winner is, cheeks down, BALD SANTA!
Vic Toews you win the coveted ARSE-O-theWEEK!
How could it be otherwise?

Anybody who toils as hard as you did to try to fool us into believing that yes, yes there is a Santa; and that [wait for it, wait for it!] ... and that the Jolly Old Elf is, in fact, really a fucking Tory - deserves it!

The audacity of a haggard old Tory elf like yourself trying to marry the sentiment of the season to a series of clearly contrived post-prorogation/pre-election(?) announcements was simply criminal. Vicky, your willful whoring on the news-release circuit was... ah, ... I dunno, ... akin to seeing a top lawmaker plead guilty to violating election laws; or, maybe it's closer to having a rural family values man torridly spreading seed where it don't belong? Either way, the nausea that your craven disingenuous conservatism (i.e. opportunism) has induced within poor drunken Smart Arse is tantamount to assault. Poor lanky Smart Arse just can't stop upchucking over the abuse of power for partisan purpose we're witnessing.

Vicky Toews, you are trying to buttress your party's fragile political position by promising taxpayer funds to build Winnipeg's new temple to the pig-skin. This after your party sidestepped a confidence motion by proroguing. Aren't such grandious gestures and funding pledges a little presumptuous until the whole 'confidence' thing is resolved? I mean, didn't the Governor General place any restrictions on the 'pork' you guys are allowed to dole out during this bizarre interlude in the cadence of governance? Was there no GG edict that said: "You may not try to bamboozle the public or try to buy their votes with their own money unless it was approved pre-prorogation by the Treasury Board?" No? Really? She didn't do that?

Fuck! This is a banana republic!

And in Manitoba, Toews you are the chief Tory heel (oops meant peel). Slippery, silent and subtle your efforts are no different than those of the mob bag-man who tries to bribe hardworking teamsters into supporting a shady union rep. What gives Harpo and you the right to suddenly start buying our votes again when serious questions are before us as to whether or not you have the confidence of the House? What? What's that? You don't care?

I'll give it to you Toews, unbowed, and unrepentant and with a partisan hard-on worthy of a young-up-n-comer - you truly put on a shameless, exhibition of political opportunism this week. Now, some will say we are too sharp, too crude, too rude and lewd(?) in our awarding you this week's "Arse". "You do not understand," your sycophants will whine, "he made some good announcements!" To them we say, yes, yes; we know he pledged to help the disabled re-enter the workforce. Yes, yes; we know he promised to help out with aboriginal education. Yes, yes; we know he said he "committed to improving public transit..."; yes, yes; we know he said his government would fund "projects in Manitoba to honour Veterans and those who made the ultimate sacrifice". To all this we say - YES, YES! (n.b. Well, actually only one of us is saying it at the moment; Smart Arse is still puking!) Anyway, all good and fine.

But Vicky, oh Vicky, 'riddle me this'? Couldn't most of this have been done earlier? You know, like when you guys still had the confidence of the house last spring? Would it not have been more appropriate for you & Harpo & co. to actually act before you found your sorry selves on the cusp of the shitter-seat in danger of having the GG flush you down like a spent tampon? No? You sure? I mean as you yourself wrote, the taint of illegitimacy "raises some serious questions"; not the least of which is why are you pretending to be a Manitoba Santa? You know St. Nick is nothing but a cultural construct to draw us deeper and deeper into consumer debt ... don't you? I mean, do you really think you are Satan? (oops, err, ... ) Santa? Or, as you've asked of others, are you "making this up" as you go along? "When will Canadians be given the full details..."? When will you admit you are not Santa? And when will you, to paraphrase Julia Roberts, admit 'your just a girl (oops,... boy/pol) standing in front a public' 'asking them to believe in you again' (ha, ha, ha). Never, right? You'll never do it? Will you? Too bad.

Only a fool would believe you weren't trying to break ground for Harper all week so he could get a deluded-warm-n-fuzzy reception in Winnipeg as he comes to tell us more lies about his commitment to democratic, err, human rights. Only a fool would believe that Santa exists, or, as that mental-midget Solberg puts it - that his sleigh veers to the right. And only a fool like you Mr. Toews would try to pretend differently when you know damn well your party is nothing but a bunch of prorogators intent on pulling the wool over our eyes again....

And, Sir, not to put to fine a point on it, but that is why you are our Arse-O-theWeek! Congratulations!




[Whoa, Smart Arse, try to hit the e'ffn toilet at least! Yeah, yeah, it's over... I told him ... yeah, yeah, Smart Arse .. just pass-out now please! Dream of Iggy if you will. I don't care... just stop puking...]

ARSE-O-theWEEK

[as originally posted 11/28/08 on my formerly free thinking blog http://tworippingarseholes.blogspot.com/ ]

For intentionally confusing the issue of Canada's automotive job losses with a minor increase in domestic car sales in September.

Responding to an NDP accusation the government was turning "a blind eye" to the plight of Ontario's CAW workers Flaherty said: "... The member opposite should not talk down Canada. Our car sales are up in Canada..."

Way to go Jimbo, way to duck the issue - we all know a negligible increase in domestic car sales has no bearing on the issue at hand. Canadian Autoworkers are losing jobs left, right, and center and your government is sitting on the sidelines again!