Thursday, February 12, 2009

ARSE-O-theWeek: BC Premier 'Gonzo' Gord Campbell

[as originally posted on my formerly free thinking blog ]

Monday, January 19, 2009

ARSE-O-theWeek: BC Premier 'Gonzo' Gord Campbell

As slippery as Pacific salmon; this week's Arse hails from Canada's bereft-coast.

Congratulations BC Premier Gordon Campbell - you are Arse-O-theWeekend!

So what did Canada's premier DUI 'no contest' artist, Liberal in name only, and Harpo lackey par excellence spit, swallow, utter, or hatch after the First Ministers "Belly-up-to-the-Trough-Fest"?

For starters, Gonzo Gord offered up this gaseous self-serving emission at the close of the conference:

"Politics aside"? Surely he jests? Nothing like having a provincial politician tell the entire nation what to "think" while HE plays politics. Better he should have adopted Ontario Premier's McGuinty position that admitted political stability is desirable, but that "the country must also 'uphold the principles of democracy.'" But that's not Campbell's style.

What this insidious political piss-ant is trying to do is use the current crisis to deliver a 'Stay the Course' message upon which he can build his own provincial re-election argument! By echoing the Tory pejorative "now is not the time" for change, Gonzo Gord wants the BC electorate to willfully ignore both his, and by association, Harpo's, leadership deficits. The Gonzo Gord Gong Show must carry on! Don't worry, he's saying, under me at the provincial level, and Harpo and his friggin' parrot Flaherty at the federal, all will be revealed if we just "stay the course".

More Tory than Old Tomorrow, Gonzo Gord's knee-pad fidelity to Harpo is not new. He is a conservative who has calculated he has nothing to lose electorally by openly embracing Harpo. Nothing, that is, but what's left of his integrity. Knowing he must secure the right-wing BC vote to have any chance of holding on to power; and knowing his province desperately needs as many of the "large stuffed envelopes [that] are clearly being filled" for the Premier's as possible: he has decided to do whatever it takes. During the Premier's closed circle-jerk session it was Campbell who was actively 'encouraging' Quebec Premier Jean Charest "to put aside his province's grievances and address the bigger issues facing the country." Harpo's inside point man, Gonzo Gord was relentless in pushing the Tory idea of a middle-class tax-cut, even though "most premiers seemed unenthusiastic about the notion". But he didn't care, because borne of political convenience as much as anything else, Campbell is hellbent on selling what hurtin' Harpo is peddling. He is, in effect, binding the future of his own political colon to the Prime Minister's current reflexive rectal actions.

But Gonzo Gord didn't stop at telling us we should just sit back and let Harpo govern. No, he went a step further. He warned any dissent at this juncture would be crippling, because: "If we fragment, ... we will be letting families down". Yep, that's right, his shameless shilling for Harpo is really "For the Sake of the Kids"! He, you see, is their "Champion".


He wants the electorate to buy into the myth that only those now at the helm (i.e. he and Harpo) are fit to fix the crisis. Don't rock the boat, he's saying; don't think critically about what Harpo & co. are doing; and don't, don't even think about voting we current office-holders out. Or else? Or else, families will suffer.

By invoking the spectre of suffering families, Gonzo Gord has sunk to a new low. As if the "smorgasbord of options on the table" last week were designed first and foremost to 'save the children'. Poppycock! The offerings were (first, last, and always) intended to save Harpo & co. Had families been front and center on friggin' Flaherty's mind in December, he and Harpo would never have found their privates dangling so close to a Coalition flame in the first place! Campbell knows this, but chooses to disregard its import. Due to face an angry electorate in May amidst a fiscal debacle of Olympic proportions, Gonzo Gord is desperate to appeal to 'families'. Make no mistake, he cares. He cares if, whether or not, he can imbue families with just enough fear before the spring provincial election to stop them from taking a chance on a better leader.

By aping Harpo's every move, Campbell is shamelessly preying on the fears of the BC electorate. More than any other Provincial leader, he is guilty of using the current economic crisis for his own narrow political purposes. "Politics aside"- my ass!

And for this, Gonzo Gord Campbell is Arse-O-theWeek(end).

[n.b. Again we apologize to our readers for the delay in posting our weekly Arse installment. There was again much disagreement between us over the worthy nominee. Smart Arse thought it should be G.W. Bush. I said picking on the mentally retarded was poor form. Wee-minded Smart Arse, as is his want, mistakenly thought I was calling him retarded. Trying to make amends, I said, "Just because you drool and slur - doesn't mean you're retarded." Wide-eyed, blubbering and slurring, Smart Arse took great offense and stormed out of our late Friday meeting with all his lady drinks, mix, umbrellas, etc., Undoubtedly gone to sit and pout on his new fucking 'dual-flush' toilet . Haven't heard from the simpleton since. No matter, I have persevered.]

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